The Big Cycle of Pain! by: Garrett Young

Posted on Posted in Personal Development

At what point in life do we change?

Do we wait for things to go bad before we make changes or are we so insightful that we assure ourselves of life’s upcoming difficulties?

The man or woman that assures themselves that everything is ok because they have a job, career, education, etc.

At what point do we feel assured that everything is ok enough to let our guard down and to say that we are truly doing well?

Is it the point where we look around at our neighbors or coworkers and figure that if we’re doing better than they are then we must be doing well?

If we drive a better car than them or live in a better neighborhood then it can seem easy to be assured.

With that being said how can we truly look at another person and know how well they are doing?

Do we judge them by their job and assume that their current position is their level of wealth, income, status?

I mean it’s easy to do and can be encouraged in American society.

How many people have to go out of their way to spend large amounts of money because the people around them assume that they have it?

For example, the attorney that desires to save more money but always find themselves buying more dinners.

They can find themselves buying new suits, etc. as the cycle never ends.

A part of my change to growth came about when I realized that things not only needed to change, but I was responsible for making those changes.

Going out with my friends and trying to party off the pain on a Friday night from a dismal week of the job began to get boring.

I’d wake up frustrated on Monday mornings still wondering why I was doing this silly routine.

I remember it as yesterday when after a Saturday of partying with one of my best friends, I looked at him and said “tonight was my last night doing this, I’ve had enough’.

My friend looked back at me and thought I was joking, then he said “why?’.

I stated the following, I’m working too hard for too little return and these bars aren’t worth it.

I’d rather meet women in the daytime, travel the world, enjoy my life, and probably save some money too.

After the conversation he tried on other occasions to get me back into the nightlife but I had enough.

I desired more, I desired a better quality of life, and my soul desired change.

The first thing I noticed from breaking that weekend habit was that my finances significantly improved as I never seemed to be broke anymore even though I wasn’t earning more money.

It was something to see that the expenses were not just alcohol consumption but included transportation too with late night food, random hotels, etc.

Removing this weak habit opened up doors for my soul as I enjoy challenges, making decisions, and growing as a person.

To find out more info on how many resources we waste on alcohol, I’ll include a link to a great book by Napoleon Hill that mentions this habit and how it can hinder your finances.

No, it is not the famous book Think and Grow Rich if you were wondering.

I also reached the point where I poured all my alcohol down the drain.


It couldn’t do anything for me.

People drink alcohol to get into the mood, relax, and for some to feel more confident.

I began to notice in American culture that some people do not feel comfortable in a social setting if there isn’t alcohol.

They can’t have a good time without having something to hold onto, something to sip, to squeeze, and something to ease their anxiety.

What if you reach the state of confidence, ease, and self-expression where you don’t need outside substances to ease your state of mind?

Dollars wasted on drinks in an effort to meet someone in a noisy dark club is a far different experience than expressing yourself in the daytime and getting what you want.

You desire the best in life and you deserve the best.

I give people high quality wisdom to think about.

Think about the quality of the things that the media offers you in your pain.

For example, loans (whether student, payday, or cash advances), cigarettes, drugs (be it prescription or illegal), alcohol, pornography, and vacations.

The things that they offer, train, and sell you on are like a big cycle of pain where each thing brings you right back under its control.

Think about it, vacations you go and come back.

Loans you borrow and pay back.

Cigarettes and drugs you consume and come back.

Alcohol you drink to numb your pain and always come back.

Pornography you get off and come back.

I call it the circle of control which is really the big cycle of pain!

Ask yourself, who in your life has promoted or sold to you these items in the circle of control?

They are nothing new and each one is offered as a way of life, a norm.

I’ve learned that what may be considered normal for the masses can be destructive to your well-being, especially if you lack self-control.

Why test a person’s self-control with counterfeit’s that have the potential to be addictive?

Can you name someone that you know that is addicted to one or more of these counterfeits?

When you reach the point where these things produce no more pleasure for your life and all you feel is pain then maybe in that moment you will change.


In the previous chapter I mentioned that I stopped watching television and it’s something to note how many parents train their kids to sit patiently in front of a digital screen wishing, and

hoping for a life that they are able to live!

Can I reach a point of pain, frustration, and discomfort where none of these counterfeits will be accepted into my life because I know what real living is?

If you’re living you won’t have the time for these counterfeits.

Do you want to look at the beach or see the beach?

Do you want to look at the car or drive the car?

Do you want to envy and watch another person’s relationship or love the great relationship that you’re in?

Look at the results of the people around you and can you honestly name ten people that are truly happy?

Can you name ten people who didn’t settle for less than their best that you personally know?

Ten isn’t a big number.

Ten bucks isn’t a lot of money, but ten minutes of wisdom can save your life!

Who in your life could explain life to you in ten minutes or less?

Many people could, but unless they truly love you then they won’t.

People close to us may have just assumed that we would figure things out which you can, but figuring everything out on your own wastes a lot of time.

Years of my life I invested into figuring things out that could have easily been explained in ten minutes or less of summary.

A lot of the counterfeit pleasures that were offered to me when I was younger, I realized were idols in the people’s hearts that offered them to me.

I mean, if you can’t live without these counterfeits then you are under their control and they have you whipped.

If every time you face a challenge you need a beer or a smoke to take your mind off the pain, then you need the junk.

Junk is for the consumers and people are quick to sell a consumer junk.

What’s wrong with being bold enough to say no?

When I became bold I strengthened my ability to give back the junk that was sold to me in a pretty package.

What areas of your life are you willing to give back to the people who sold you the lie, the counterfeit, or less than your best?

The lies that you’re not good enough or that you need something extra outside yourself to feel validated, calm, and or confident?

What’s wrong with being you, the real you, the bold you, the authentic you?

Why is this version of you so intimidating to others that it must be challenged with fears, controlled with doubts, given counterfeits, and taught limited beliefs?

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